Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
