took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Everclear isn't food dammit
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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