New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
