His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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