I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
