glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
