And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
