What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize