Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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