Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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