I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
