It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize