What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
