hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
