M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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