Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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