If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
