I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
