Where are you?
In a non slutty way
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My feet surprised me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
