absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
