so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
