how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
