how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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