okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
