How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
