The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
