He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
