ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
