Having a random hookup so left but love u
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
