Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
