yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
