What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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