I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
