sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
