Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
