Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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