If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
that is very illegal...i love you.
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