No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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