i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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