There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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