The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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