he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
