She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize