i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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