Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
