Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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