you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sorry my hands just texted you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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