You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
