There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize