the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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