chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
