spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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