she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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