I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize