kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize