how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My bed smells like the plague
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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