I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
