i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize