Plan B is the new Plan A
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Randomize
