I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
