i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I party with great urgency now.
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