i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
