I skipped work to stalk him.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
