Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
