ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
