I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
