I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
