If that was your dad, he is hot
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
