look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
