He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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