I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
