My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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