Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
