remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
