there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
