For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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