what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
